before it's too late ...

i really, really need to sit mamang down one of these days with a video camera (or at the very least my digital)
and ask her some very important questions ... you just never know, you know?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

it's all auntie melda's fault ...

she came over to auntie myrna's where we were all hanging out yesterday after church
and gave us a loving little pep talk ...

i think some members of the family completely missed the point though

they continued verbalizing their dislike for each other

and saying things which i hope to God they don't actually mean ...

i just wish the females in our family could be much nicer to each other

i don't know what makes them just say the meanest, most hurtful things

about each other - and in public too ...

and then to respond to a message that was supposed to encourage them
to be even more loving by adding insult to injury by saying things like
"if i could go back, i'd put them all back in my belly - that's how ungrateful these kids are" ...

i wish we knew how to say more loving things ...

i know it's a lot to ask, we aren't used to saying such things ...

we're much better at doing rather than saying ...

there's no doubt our parents love us ---
they provide a home for us, give us money, feed us, buy us clothes,
pay for vacations and fun little trips, help us move in and out of our dorms,
pay for our school bills, etc, etc, ...

but do they SAY they love us?

i guess it's an asian thing and i ought to be used to it by now
i'm sure they recognize when they say things that hurt our feelings
but i've never once heard them apologize

....

i've learned something important from auntie melda though ...

it doesn't matter how they hurt your feelings or how they criticize you
or make you feel like somehow you aren't good enough
it doesn't matter that their expectations feel too high to reach
or that they seem emotionally distant

they are still your parents ... and they are all you have ...

it's better to just let them talk
let them complain
let them criticize

more importantly, just let them show their love in what little way they know how
and accept that --- just accept it without complaint
because one day, you're going to turn around and without warning,
it would be too late to tell them you love them ...

if they hurt you, just take it -don't point it out to them,
because from their point of view, they have already tried their best with you
and everything you do to point out their failings makes them feel so hurt,
so ashamed, and not so willing to finance you
when you need financial help the next time around ...

you might feel like they don't give you enough love - but really, what IS enough?

anyway, they're older than we are - they won't change anymore ...

but we still have the chance to change -

we can still show them how much we appreciate them

how much we love them and respect them

at least, while they're still around ...

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

thank you auntie melda for reminding me of what's important :) ...

i hope i can take your advice and be a little more grateful
a little nicer - a better daughter to my mother from now on ...

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

on a more somber note ...
today is auntie cherry aguila's memorial/funeral service ---

to the aguila family ---
i know it was all too sudden - none of us expected her to leave us so soon ...

i am so sorry for your loss ... i hope you know that i am praying for you

and that i have heard many, many people praying for you

during this painful time ... just know that there is hope -

we will see auntie cherry again when Jesus comes back!

we can hardly wait for that day to come!